Tuesday, July 22, 2014


I had my crazy moments once in a while in my life and one of them is overly addicted to Chatroulette.

Chatroulette is an chatting application online where you're connected to random strangers online using video chat. It's worldwide so most of the times, we'll connected to strangers from US, Aussie or any other parts of the world. Maybe I imagined someday I found my prince charming coming from USA? Hahahahahaha! I don't know. 

Among all of them, there are two of them whom I still remember up until today. Now don't get me wrong. It's not like that I fell in love with them or what. It's just that what they said that stuck with me. 

The first one is Scott. It was Valentine's Day and as usual, I felt a bit lonely and maybe desperately wants a date(booooo me!) so there I go, Chatroulette-ing until I got connected with Scott. Although most people would said that he's just like most guys on Chatroulette, I'd say Scott is different. I don't know why but until the moment when we had to stop chatting, he made my day. He made me smile at the end of the day. I had that moment with other people on Chatroulette, I know but with him, I'd always remember what he said and how he looks like. 

The second one, I don't even know his name. He didn't ask for my name so I didn't ask him his name too. All we did is talk about random stuff until he gave me a song title that he would like me to listen to. Dear Bobbie by Yellowcard. Right after he gave me the song title, we got disconnected. And right after that, I downloaded the song without listening to it first. And what happened? It is one of my personal favorite song until today. 

Sometimes, unexpected people will come into our lives and changed it. It's either from a good way or a bad way. People can change the way you dress up, the way you behave, or your taste of music. It's the little things that changed you gradually in times. Leaving and got left behind is not and never will be easy to do. But it's a part of our lifes and we just have to learn to accept it. If one day you got hurt so bad, try to get up again and you will see how strong you can become without the people that you thought you can't live without once upon a time. 

It doesn't matter how long that person stays in your life. What matters is the impact that they left behind. For me, that's the real reason why letting go is a very hard thing to do. We can forgive but can we really forget? All it takes is just one song, one place or one book and your memories will come back to your head.

Forgetting isn't an easy thing to do, especially when a person gave you so much to remember :) 

Friday, March 28, 2014


When people asked me why I always posts something related to love or feelings on Twitter or Facebook, the answer is very easy. Because I love Love. It is not like I always get hurt or jealous or something like that. I do, got hurt and hurting and that does not stop me to love again. I didn't blame Love as it was one of the most beautiful things that God gave us. Love to Him, family, friends, strangers love, and of course, boy-girl love. 

I posts things related to love not because I wanted to blame the other party aka the Boys or I want people to see that girls are hurted the most by boys. Girls can hurt too, we have to admit it. It's the feelings that I want to express. Maybe on that day I was feeling blue so all those memories will come back to me and I started to type it down or if I got some paper and pen around me, I'll jot it down. Or maybe I was happy and wanted to appreciate something so I posted happy things regarding relationship. It doesn't mean that I always have problems or too much of wanting to be love. It's just something that I love, to talk about Love, to experience Love, to give Love and to share Love. Thus, I'm writing about it. 

Sometimes, it's not a walk in the park when it comes to Love. Occasionally, we went to our seperate ways and just walk there all by ourselves. We can do that, you know, so that we have all the times for ourselves to think. And when we are not willing to give up on Love, just get our way back together. 

Love sometimes can make people give up. That feeling of not wanting to get hurt again, don't want to cry over a guy anymore or etc etc.. For me, just don't blame Love. In fact, there's no one or nothing should be blamed. All of us, including me, can go bananas when we're in love. We can do stupid things, the things that we once swore we won't do. But we can do it. Because of love. If there is anyone who still holds grudges towards their exes, my advise, is to forgive. People will come and go from our live and it is either they are lessons to us or a blessing. Either way, it brings good thing to us. 

So exes, thank you. :) 
For showing me the way to my future ;)

Thursday, March 20, 2014


Bila hati dah rabak, kita pura-pura kita ok. Kita senyum, bagitau orang tiada apa-apa. Sedangkan dalam hati, sakit. Yup, kalau orang cakap sakit hati, literally, hati akan sakit. Tak tau kat orang lain la tapi kalau kat aku, dapat rasa sakit sikit la dada sambil tahan marah atau air mata. No, no one noticed your feelings. 

Janji adalah satu word yang memang power. Kalau kita janji, kita mesti tunaikan. Kalau tak dapat tunaikan, pastikan ada sebab yang betul-betul munasabah. Jangan kita janji lepas tu kita lupa, pura-pura macam janji tu sesuatu yang main buat tapi tak tunaikan. 

"Nanti saya jumpa awak" 

"Awak tunggu kat sana nanti saya datang"

"Kalau awak nak, nanti kita boleh pergi"

"Saya janji saya takkan hilang rasa cinta terhadap awak" 

Humans are good in promising something. But not all good enough to fulfil their promises. 
Bagi kita janji ni macam child's play, kita janji then kita lupa. Macam tu jer. Macam kita main pinky promise dengan kawan time kecik dulu. Without our knowings, ada hati yang sedih kalau janji awak tu tak ditunaikan, even kalau awak dapat tunaikan. Awak fikir maybe ada sebab yang sangat baik bagi awak untuk lupa janji awak tapi sebenarnya sebab tu awak boleh elak, boleh ubah, awak jer yang taknak ubah. 

Bagi aku, kalau benda tu boleh ubah, usahakanlah untuk ubah. Kita tak sedar ada orang tunggu kita ubah, supaya janji dapat ditunaikan. Ala-ala macam janji ditepati. Kalau kita letak 100% hati kita, janji tu kita dapat. Tapi kalau hati 2-3, cara paling selamat, jangan janji apa-apa. 

"Saya janji saya akan sayang awak sampai bila-bila" 

Janji yang cukup sakit.